Things Can Be Better
It is often said by – and occasionally to – people with Parkinson’s that: “Things could be worse.” I do not find this sentiment helpful because, with this disease, things will get worse. But my message today is not a gloomy one.
I say: “Things can be better.” Just by you being here today, things are already looking up!
Let me tell you why I don’t like people saying, “Things could be worse.” Firstly, it invites comparison to others. When one says “things could be worse,” one is speaking in relative, not absolute, terms. One person’s life cannot be the measure of another’s. Rather, our lives have intrinsic value. We don’t say, “She is stronger; she must be better.” Or, “He is faster; his life must have more meaning.” Nor do we say, “She is sicker; she is less valuable.” One’s worth is not measured relative to others. Similarly, one’s worth today is not weighed in contrast to one’s worth yesterday. For those of us with Parkinson’s, the folly is to view our lives today through the prism of our healthy years. We are valuable because we are here.
Secondly, the phrase, “Things could be worse,” is undeniably pessimistic. It implies that things are already bad. While living with Parkinson’s is not easy, my life is still very much worth living!
My final objection to the use of this expression is that it promotes an unhealthy approach to living with Parkinson’s. As Mark Twain once warned: “Comparison is the death of joy.” A better strategy than comparing ourselves to others or to our earlier selves is to look for meaning in our current circumstances, whatever they may be. Hopefully, that search leads to fulfillment.
What is my strategy for living with Parkinson’s? As a younger man, I was very fortunate to have had the privilege of working with children with disabilities. They taught me how to deal with adversity with dignity and without complaint. It was not that child’s fate or destiny to have a disability. Nor was it mine to have Parkinson’s. It just happened and now I live with it. I acknowledge it; I don’t accept it. If I accept it, then I will stop fighting it. I am an actor in my own play. As the famous biologist Richard Dawkins remarked: “I am very comfortable with the idea that we can override biology with free will.”
Things can be better. So, I had brain surgery; I take medication that is not only therapeutic but possibly neuroprotective; I exercise; I participate in all manner of clinical trials and studies; and I raise money for Parkinson’s research.
Currently, I am scripting my part to raise money to fight Parkinson’s and to heighten awareness of this disease. Next Spring, I plan to walk from New York City, my new home, to Toronto over a period of 45 days. Half a marathon a day. We are calling it, “500 Miles for Parkinson’s”. We have events planned in Manhattan and Toronto and more along the way. We are supporting three charities: The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research, the Morton and Gloria Shulman Movement Disorders Centre at Toronto Western Hospital, and the Mount Sinai Beth Israel Movement Disorders Center in New York. The walk is intended to bridge two great cities and two great countries in an effort to fight a common enemy, namely, Parkinson’s disease. Please visit our website at “fivehundredmiles.org”.
Things can be better. That’s why you are all here today. To make things better for yourselves, your loved ones and others.
Porridge for Parkinson’s – Toronto
November 8, 2015